The Missing Person

Some days it is so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I should be juggling 3 kids, not just two. And other days it isn't so...

The year after Zach died Matt and I undertook this giagantic landscaping project which has now grown into the never ending battle of maintaining and adding and finishing. It doesn't help that our next door neighbor, who is a wonderful woman who is like another grandma to the kids, happens to be a professional gardener and perfectionist. So our small strides forward feel a little empty next to her perfect back yard! Anyway, we planted approx 100 bulb plants that all flower in April-May. For me those plants (tulips and lillies that line our fence) are this magnificant display of color that honor Zach.

As we start the spring season and come upon Zach's birthday, April 24, I see those flowers and am reminded of so many things. I think of the colorful balloons I'd have at his birthday parties and at the same time I think of how the remind me that my life is still full of life and love - like the flowers, brilliant and bright.

I'm reminded of fresh starts and new beginnings. I'm reminded of what birthdays really are... a celebration of life. A birthday rolls around every year for everyone. Moms all reflect on "that day" when their child was born. Kids yearn to be older than they are and adults sometimes wish that another year hadn't passed so quickly.

And this year, the flowers remind me that although I made the choice to overcome my circumstances in life, that by no means implies that it will be an easy road all the time. Some days making the choice is all that mattered and other days I have to decide to decide all over again. For example, I have two dogs and a cat and those pesky creatures that I do my share to scare away and yet save from an untimely death... aka rabbits... have eaten almost every tulip that lined the fence. But much like overcoming the tragedies and frustrations of life, I am choosing to not be detered. Halleah, Mattalyn and I planted flowers in our flower pots and made plans to plant some additional plants along the fence. And I gave my dogs and cat a good talking to about how they owe me and should be standing guard over my flowers :-)

So for lack of words I'll borrow an expression... I tip my hat to everyone who can relate all to well to the struggles of overcoming. No matter what is takes we will win this battle. In so many ways, we already have! Here is to fresh starts and new beginnings! And watch out rabbits... my new begginging does not include your free lunch!

PS - I heard on a television program that rabbits can have babies every 6 weeks or something crazy like that... I need to revisit my action plan for this battle!