One of the first years that Matt and I attended Cornerstone Family Church they sang a song named Shabach. Instantly we both loved the song.
When we became pregnant with our first son we started talking and this song kept coming up in our conversations. It spoke to us. Always makes me laugh b/c when I read the lyrics I know it doesn't convey the truth we found in the song. It just seems crazy silly.
Our son was born April 24, 2005 - and we named him Zachariah Barak Wennerstrom. He passed away on February 20, 2006. Barak: a judge in the Bible and more literally lightning, a flash so brilliant and gone so quickly. Our Zach was a bolt of lightning in our lives and a few weeks after he passed we learned we were pregnant again so we turned back to the song. How do we recover? How do we trust ourselves again?
We were in the car driving and talking and we went back to the song. Halleah was derived from hallelujah. It was appropriate and unique. We wanted to continue to put our praise and faith in front of us. We wanted to continue to believe in grace. Halleah Grace was born on December 9. She was in part a leap of faith on our behalf as much as she was a blessing straight from heaven.
When Halleah was around 6 months old we decided we were ready to grow the family again. Now it seemed like something natural. We looked at the song and our life. The blessings we have and the grace we live in. Originally we wanted to name our Matty, Madalyn - spelled just like the very popular name. Except as we again were talking one day Matt suggested Mattalyn or Matty. I laughed. Yes, the first time I laughed at him. And as I went to bed that night I thought of our son. I thought of the father that Matt was and I knew at that moment it had to be Mattalyn. She had to be named, or at least spelled, for him. Her middle name needed to bridge her to her siblings... so we went to the song. Karar: to dance, specifically to dance as a form of praise. Mattalyn Karar was born March 13.
And most recently we have a new arrival in our house. Barak Jeremiah Wennerstrom. His name is close to my heart and it pains me that people want to question our loyalty to a party (democratic/republican). I look at my son and I am so thankful for his name. It reminds me to hold fast to what I know, to what God has promised. One of my very favorite versus is Jeremiah 29:11 (New Living Translation) - For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." And I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in God and God's timing. This year at Cornerstone we are focusing on God as the great "I Am." Time and time again Pastor Dan references this verse and every time my strength is renewed. God desires good in my life. Barak Jeremiah Wennerstrom is proof of that desire. Living proof. Barak is a tribute to Zach, a small simple way to remember my first. To remember a child that some will never remember and certainly some will forget. And Jeremiah - because no matter what political party you think I am a member of or not of - God desires good in my life. I serve a living God and my hope is in Him!
With those stories told and some venting on my son's purposed name... I leave you with one of our favorite songs:
Shabach Hallelujah
Barak Praise the Lord
Yadah extend your hand
Todah Lift up your hands
Tehillah means to sing
Karar means to dance dance dance
Shabach
Shabach
Shabach Hallelujah
Blessed be the Rock
Shabach
Shabach Hallelujah
Blessed be the Rock
2 comments:
I love it. When I saw his name I told my husband there was a song I used to sing in choir that had that name in it. I love that you shared the meanings and how you chose them. Our little girl got her name because it means God has answered me and after 12 years of waiting she is truly an answered prayer. Cant wait to meet your little guy
I admire your ability to put into words exactly what you wish to say and I want you to know that I think of your little Zach often. His memory reminds me that although life can be short and sweet, it can also leave you with a kind of pain that will serve to make you stronger. Stronger in your convictions, stronger in your love and stronger in your faith. May you continue to bless us with your words Jantina. With love, Becca
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