This Life is Crazy

So much has happened and not happened in the past week or two that I don't know where to start! But yet, I felt compelled to write something... hmmm.

What's on my heart today?

Marriage. Sidenote: I am the world's biggest advocate for talking about death and life. Remembering my son warms my heart, talking about my father-in-law brings a smile with tears. Talking about life without each other, while terrifying, brings a sense of togetherness, even if the worst came to pass. A sense of preparedness.

But Marriage. I'm a little on the fence about. On one hand I wish that everyone was brutally honest about the ups and downs of this struggle and yet, in saying that, I withhold. Still thinking about it and how much to disclose :)

Truly, my marriage is the toughest thing I have ever done and yet the most rewarding. Watching Matt with my girls. Watching him have fun and enjoy life again. Right now it feels like a long time coming.

Marriage - the dirtiest work for the shiniest finished product. Good thing that oil-rubbed bronze is trendy right now. That about sums us up perfectly :-) Ha!

I love you Matt. Don't you ever think for a moment that we are not in this crazy life 150% together. I cannot live without you, cannot breathe without you, and most certainly cannot parent without you. Guarding your heart is a principal someone tried to explain to me early in life and I never understood it as fully as I do in our lives today. With that I give you the right to let me know if my blog ever gets more of my heart than you. It is why I ponder my marriage and wonder how to share the knowledge we have recently acquired and yet guard my heart from where we have come. And all the same, after all those words, the truth remains. I love you. I am committed to you completely. I wonder what tomorrow holds for us and I cannot wait to be that cute little old couple mopping up at Spades in a retirement village someday! I love you ~ Jantina