Human Relations

I made the mistake of following closely to the events surrounding the earthquake that has destroyed Haiti. Yesterday I saw an image of a father holding his deceased child in his arms... all day I could not shake that image. And I say mistake, because yesterday I regretted opening that door. I wanted to retreat. I wanted to hide from the pain that I understand, the pain that I can recall at any moment.

See Natuaral disasters and the death of children has been the one true thing that I have almost no ability to tolerate after surviving Zach. And something that has been lurking in the corner of my heart is the need of children that live within our community. These two thoughts combined make me an emotional mess.

I know that all types of people are needed in this world. Some need to see the world globally and some need to see the world locally. For a long time I thought I was a global person... but slowly and surely that has been changing. I am proud and happy to watch people give time and money to Haiti - and yet my heart, urges me to do something locally. To give to foster care and adoption programs. To take a stronger leadership role in the community and with our families.

This particular natural disaster has awoken something deep within my heart. And it has challenged me to revisit something I always advocate - talking and dealing with emotions. NOT retreating and hiding, but looking at the pictures and Facing the Giant as Max Lucado would say. Weeping tears and uttering prayers and allowing myself to be open to what it is that God has asked of me. To what it is that He has placed on my heart.

So yesterday I took action. In my own way. I revisited some goals that I have for 2010 and I scheduled appointments to put those goals in action. I don't know where this year will take me. But I know, at the end of this year, I want to look back and say that I truly impacted a life, maybe even a few lives. I know that I want to take the accumulation of life and death experience and use it to change lives.

So today, I will surf the web and look at the pictures of devastation and destruction. And I will align my heart with God's and ask he give me the courage, to live out the dream he has engraved on my heart just for me.